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Day 2 – Say what you need to say

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQtGqmi2O2U]

As I look back at my story these past few years, I’ve realized that there are several times I should have stood up for myself, said no to someone, or been unafraid to speak my mind. I know is seems shocking that I, Laura, did not say what I wanted to say at one point in my life… but I promise, it’s happened. 
Think about it… are there moments that still haunt you. Moments you wish you would have stood up for yourself, or someone else. I have one that hits me every day. 
It was year ago when I had an old friend contact me out of the blue. It was exciting, fun, encouraging, and honestly, just really nice to laugh with someone again. Things progressed, words were said and I found myself starting to fall for this guy who I didn’t really know anything about. I think that’s one thing I’m learning about myself, that sometimes my heart falls for the idea of someone, while my mind just sits passively by. There were a lot of “sweet nothings” thrown my way, with each one throwing me deeper into confusion… I guess… hmmm….
Ok, the whole point of this back story is that I have been sitting here, now a year later, still very bitter, and VERY angry that I was told things I wanted to hear but then never saw action behind them. I mean, I’m 25 years old, I have most of my life together, I’m not a disaster, I’m a pretty decent package and I don’t  deserve to be played. 

So today’s challenge is to Say what you need to say. This is going to be a reoccurring challenge over the next few weeks as there are a lot of things I just need to say. Yesterday, my challenge was to have COURAGE  and start this adventure, and in an ironic twist, I also need courage to say what I need to say today.  

I’ve made the phone call, I’ve said my piece, and I’ve deleted their number. Damn… I’m going to be honest, I feel better, but the fairy tale princess in my head was wishing for an apology. Alas, I said I was hurt, I was mad, and that if they weren’t going to be a real friend and be who they said they were, I was going to peace-out. Now I have to stand behind my word and know that I am worth far more than idle words and failed actions. Hey, did you know that you are too? 

You are worth far more than lies, than cheaters, than harsh comments about things that you love. You are way more awesome than all the drama, all the stupidity, and all the games. So maybe today is your chance to say what you need to say to that person in your life, and then stand behind it knowing that there is restoration, healing, and joy in getting all that junk off your chest and cutting out those pieces of your life that hurt you. Do it! I promise, I’ll be here for you :)

Day 1 – Courage

It was about a  year ago that I picked up the book A Thousand Miles in a Million Years by Donald Miller. I remember the first time I opened it’s pages… and then quickly closed them and put the book back on the shelf. Donald Miller books and I tend to have this relationship; the kind where I read a few sentances, feel some slight conviction, get angry and decide I’m an adult and don’t have to read this book if I don’t want to. It’s the 20-something equivilent of a temper tantrum. So what caused this particular tantrum? Don had described his life, and then decided that if someone was writing a book of his life, it would be a terrible story, and no one would want to read it… Much like my own story. 

I had spent nearly 3 years living in Fargo, ND. Yes, there were some fantastic things about being there, but I had gone through a loss, and found myself sitting on a couch watching crappy tv every night, and expecting people to feel bad for me. In good stories there are often sympathetic characters that come alongside the hero, but in this case, my plight wasn’t worth pitying, it was self-inflicted, self-pitying, and really…honestly… very bitter. 

I’m not sure what lead me back to ACTUALLY reading Donald Miller’s book, but once I got past feeling bad for myself and being angry, I found encouragement and change. I found the phrase that haunts me every day. 

Live a Better Story

Seems simple, right? Just get off the couch, change your life, write a better story and be blissfully happy…. right?  Something I think we often forget about any good story is that there are moments of conflict, character testing, struggle and pain. All good stories have it!  It’s the only way the hero can become something greater. 

It was time for my 1st struggle in my new story, my moment to be the hero and act corageously… It was time to quit my job, move across the country and do something I had never done before… work with teeenagers!!! 

It was in Savannah, GA that I met Andy Gill. Oh, Andy… I’m glad I met you. You see, Andy is on the same great adventure I am. We both quit our jobs, moved across the country for the summer, and knew that when we returned home, we would be unemployed. We had decided to live a better story. Yikes. 

It is with great joy that I can now blame Andy for this blog, this adventure and these next few weeks of my life. Andy has challenged me to live 30 days of awesome or to put it in a way I understand better: 30 Days to a Better Story.

So today is day 1. I’m not guaranteeing that these will be 30 consecutive days, but it will be 30 different adventures that will grow and stretch me, and maybe even make me face some fears. 30 days to start a new chapter, be transparent, and know that my story just keeps getting better. 

You should subscribe to my blog so you can follow along!!! ok, thanks!

Dear friends…

I miss you. I miss sitting on the Morkens red couch. I miss hammy snot on my jeans. I miss the way I could run down the hall to Randi’s place just to chat. I miss seeing how much my friends in relationships truly love eachother. I miss your laughs and how they always brightened my day. I miss pizza and rum night while talking about our wildest dreams. I miss new food adventures and the whir of sewing machines. oh, and I even miss Cole making fun of me.

Today dear friends, I miss you. Even though I am on this crazy adventure I think and pray for you often, and sometimes wish I could just snap a finger and be back just for a moment.

5 things on Tuesday

1) Sometimes I am utterly shocked by the behavior of people, adults! non-the-less. Whether it’s following simple rules like wearing closed foot shoes when you’re lifting heavy boxes or wielding knives or simply telling your daughter her shorts are against the dress code you agreed to follow for 4.5 short days of your life. Sometimes, I’m just shocked. I wonder if Jesus is ever shocked by our behavior.

2) I am not a huge fan of plain water. Never have been, never will be, but for now I close my eyes and drink. Good Mercy it is HOT! here.

3) Sometimes, when people are put into leadership positions God uses their inadequacies as their strengths. I’m really hoping this is what He is doing in my life, because I feel so inadequate.

4) I am living a better story. Sometimes it’s hard to see it when you’re cleaning up spilled cereal, or trying to get junior high girls to pick up their trash, or even fighting with an adult who refuses to act as if she is having the time of her life in order for her students to fully experience what God is doing in their lives instead of throwing hissy fits, saying snarky things under her breath and utterly refusing to be on board this missions train. (vent over)

5) God is good… all the time… and all the time… God is good.

OOOOO bonus #6! I totally saw where the bench Forest Gump sat on was. Totally. Be Jealous. It’s ok, I’m awesome :)