Never has someone spoken into my stupidity as clearly as this moment right here.
What do I think you’re not saying? You want to play this game??
Well, we’ve established that you have certain goals you’re not willing to disclose. I can only assume that the reason you don’t want to talk about these goals (or, shall we say visions for the future) is accountability – yeah, I went there. As soon as you say it out loud, it becomes a real thing. As soon as someone else knows about it, you’re accountable for it. I would be able to ask you “hey, what about [this]? Why aren’t you working on it?” Is it because you are afraid to fail? Is it because you are afraid to let people know that you want what you don’t think you can have?
If you refuse to chart a direction for your life (or, more accurately, refuse to let people know what you’ve charted in your own mind), then people can only assume that you are right where you want to be, right? Nobody will fault you for failing at [X] if you never wanted [X] anyway, right? So, I’m guessing your plan is to only reveal your true motives after (or, if) you have achieved the desired outcome. They’ll say “oh, Laura did [Y]?” and you will say “yes, well I wanted [Y] all along, didn’t you know?” Nobody knows what you want, because all they get is sarcastic remarks.
I know you think too much to not have a master plan. And I’m pretty sure your master plan isn’t a perfect reflection of reality today. Could I be wrong? Yes (though it’s never happened before, ha!). It’s possible that everything is right on track. More likely, though, is that you’re embarassed to admit what you’re really looking for, and too afraid to fail publicly. Most of this points to the obvious: you are a robot sent from the future, and you bear an important message for mankind, but we are not yet ready to hear it…
Let’s play a game? What is it you think I’m not saying?
I feel like maybe I’ve been too harsh, so there’s a reminder that you (kind of) asked. Anyway, I’m not going to guess the specifics. That’s up to you: say it, or don’t say it.
Here, I’ll say it: the thought of a life lived without you in it is the scariest thing I’ve ever faced.