Today I know what it feels like to be absolutely bathed in prayer. I’m not kidding. The thought literally brought tears to my eyes as I drove to a job interview.
Let’s start at the beginning. (side note: The Indigo Girls is playing on the Musac at Bruegger’s Bagels right now. Best.Day.Ever. Oh Nostalgia!)
Over 2 months ago I applied for a communications associate position for the city of Shoreview. It was a posting my mom found on the Star Tribune website. It felt like a long shot. But Hey! What do I have to lose… right? After reading the job description my heart skipped a beat. It was THE job for me. Seriously! I had to print out an application, hand write all my information and snail mail it in. I was motivated. The whole idea of this position just felt like it clicked.
Well, 2 months passed… no call. Whelp! Chalk it up to wasted ink. Continue being depressed and worthless! UNTIL!…. bum bum BUM! My phone rang! (do you feel the suspense?) Last week I got called for an interview. I was so excited I skipped down the hallway at work.
It wasn’t long until my excitement turned to fear, anxiety, dread, and self-hatred. I had quite the panic attack yesterday before yoga class about how inadequate I felt and how I think God is playing mean games with me. I learned a valuable lesson yesterday. If you completely lose your mind before you go to hot yoga class you will NOT be able to hold any poses, you WILL cry for the entire class, and your yoga instructor WILL ask you if you’re ok after class. It’s a little embarrassing, but also incredibly healing.
In the midst of a sobbing filled yoga class God and I had a good talk. Well, He listened, I cried. To be honest, this whole unemployment thing feels like a sick joke, hand delivered from God to test my faithfulness. If it actually was, I have failed the test. I am officially broken, bruised, damaged, destroyed. I find no shame is saying God and I aren’t on the best terms sometimes, but it’s because of my arrogance.
As I stand crying in the tree pose with my arms out stretched to the sky while standing on one foot it occurred to me to ask my friends to pray for me. (I love that this had to be a great revelation. How dumb am I?) I have been incredibly blessed with a really neat community of friends who are on my team no matter what I do. They are my supporters, encouragers, co-dreamers, laughing partners, and prayer warriors. I usually forget that last one.
So today as my anxiety was at full capacity I sent out a text/Facebook status just asking for a little prayer around 2:30. I know that I will always remember driving down Highway 10 to Shoreview today, not because of terrible traffic or a meteor falling or anything crazy. I will remember it because of the texts that flowed in with ferocity.
“You’re amazing Laura! I’m praying for you!”, “…Just be your awesome self and you will be just fine. God’s got it!”, “Praying!!!”. I am humbled. Utterly humbled. I am humbled that these people in my life would take a moment out of their day to care about mine. I am humbled that my friends think I’m awesome. (Yes, I’m aware how dumb that sounds.) I am humbled that God blessed me with such amazing people who love me. I am humbled.
I am also incredibly thankful. I have no idea how the interview went. I think it went awesome, but I’ve thought that before… and my empty wallet says I was wrong. What I do know is that God answers prayers. He alone, calmed my nerves. He alone, sent my friends to my aid. He alone, hasn’t forgotten me even though I might be angry.
I’ve always wondered what it feels like to be bathed in prayer, and now I can say I finally know. There is a peace that passes all understanding and today I felt it through every fiber of my being.
Thank you friends. Thank you for your prayer, encouragement and ability to teach me a valuable lesson even though you are so far away. You are loved.